Monday, May 29, 2017

Put a Tiger in your (drunk) tank

Not quite seven years ago, Frank Deford commented on fallen heroes in American sports. He mentioned Tiger Woods as the start of it all. Today in Florida (really early today, kind of very late yesterday) Tiger Woods was arrested for driving under the influence and Frank Deford died and I wondered (in Alaska) if anyone else was concerned about instant replay umpire reviews and the pending robot apocalypse.

Mr. Woods' whoopsie was a doozy, his second. Luckily for me, I gave up on sports heroes about the time I realized that I'd never be drafted into the Brewer's farm system. So it didn't faze me when a classy Swede made news with one of her husband's golf clubs roughing up the car on a Thanksgiving afternoon. Or this afternoon when the tiger not named Tony said that alcohol had nothing to do with his erratic behavior. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt on that one but won't be laying any money in Vegas.

Mr. Deford wrote for Sports Illustrated for more than half a century and had a long career as a broadcaster for NPR. He made his mark as the sportscaster who focused on the quirky aspects of the game in whichever sport he chose to pontificate on at the moment. Feel like diving down a Deford wormhole? Steffi Graf is over-rated is a good place to start.

I saw a bit of a baseball game today and was thrown back to a class I had in college, American History from the Civil War (incidentally one of the stupidest terms ever) to the present. I don't remember the professor's name but I do remember a lecture where he covered the rise of baseball on the national conscience and the integral part the umpires played in said rise. Basically, his theory was that factories and baseball became popular at the same time and while you could root for the Yankees and I could cheer for the Dodgers, we could both hate the boys in blue, they represented the bosses in the factories. Who by the way are now the boys in black and are required to wear black undies in case they split their pants. Yes, I'm serious. You're an adult, Google it.

Anyway, I always enjoyed listening to Mister Deford on Wednesday mornings and was sad when he announced his retirement earlier this month and have wondered what he thought about the replay review.

I think it's ridiculous. Cuz if we can review what the refs, umps, zebras, stripes, blues, etc. call, why do we need them at all? Computers and instant replay can definitely do the job. And if we don't need them, why do we have them? Fire them. I'm sure the owners will pass the savings on to the ticket holders. And since many of our heroes are cyborgs on performance enhancing drugs, why bother with humans to enforce the rules?

One good reason is that it gives sports commentators something to do to make our morning commute more enjoyable. Also, fuck the robots.

Teaser: next post- helicopters and tourists and robot spiders

1 comment:

Prado Metal Trần Nhôm said...

Khi có một loại thuốc mới ra đời thì những công dụng của nó chính là thứ chúng ta quan tâm đầu tiên chứ không phải là thành phần hay các thông tin nào khác. Thuốc fucoidan http://thuocbonao.com.vn/tag/kinh-nghiem-dung-fucoidan , đối với fucoidan cũng hoàn toàn tương tự như vậy, tác dụng của thuốc fucoidan chính là thông tin mà nhiều người trên khắp thế giới tìm hiểu. Thuoc Fucoidan có tác dụng gì http://thuocbonao.com.vn/tag/lieu-dung-fucoidan , công dụng chính được giới thiệu về sản phẩm này chính là việc nó kích thích các tế bào ung thư tiến hành quá trình tự diệt nhờ thế mà việc điều trị ung thư sẽ có chuyển biến tích cực hơn. Thuốc Fucoidan chữa ung thư http://ginkgobiloba.com.vn/tag/thuoc-chua-ung-thu-fucoidan ,một cách khác để nó hỗ trợ quá trình điều trị căn bệnh này đó là ngăn cản sự cung cấp dinh dưỡng cho các tế bào ác làm chúng bị tiêu diệt. Thuốc Fucoidan cho người ung thư http://ginkgobiloba.com.vn/tag/thuc-pham-chuc-nang-ho-tro-dieu-tri-ung-thu. Không chỉ thế, người dùng còn được cho biết là khả năng tăng cường hoạt động của hệ tiêu hóa sau khi sử dụng sản phẩm này. Liều dùng thuốc Fucoidan http://thuochoathuyetduongnao.com/tag/cach-su-dung-thuoc-fucoidan, một công dụng khác mà chúng ta không sử dụng cũng có thể nhận biết được đó là việc đem đến làn da săn chắc, trắng mịn như những người dân hàn quốc nhật bản.