Tuesday, March 13, 2012

It ain't all helicopters

We don't save daylight here. Sorta pointless cuz the difference in day length is quite small. Actually, it's kinda pointless everywhere. I remember when i was a kid, the common theory on why we had DST was "For the farmers." As if farmers give a shit, their animals certainly don't and farmers don't feel like they didn't spend enough time outside at the end of their workday. It all started with a bug-catching (few people respect the power of entomologists) mailman in New Zealand. Join me and punch a Kiwi.

I just ran out of Dr. Bronner's so i needed some shampoo. I used Dr. B before I got married, then I switched to whatever frizz control vibrant color bullshit was in the shower, then I got a bunch of toiletries when the Skustads left town, then back to Dr. B. Anyway, i'm in front of all these choices and I don't want to choose (is that RUSH I hear in the background? ) so I grab an orange bottle cuz I'm going through an orange phase. The stuff smells terrible and leaves my hair greasy. I read the label. Turns out it's conditioner.

I grabbed a beer and a burger after flag football (when my muscles started to stiffen I found a spot that I can push on my trapezius muscle that makes the side of my face vibrate, aging is awesome ) on Saturday. It was Kona Brew Fest. I decided not to attend for two reasons, one- it was a daytime event and b- 8 4oz. samples for sixty dollars. That's 30 bucks a point. Anyway, I'm at the bar with the best onion rings I've had in a long time enjoying a five dollar pint. The bar has a great view for lurking cuz it's upstairs and open-air. The streets are full of drunks, which I find amusing and confusing. Two pints? I know people feel the effects more when it's hot, but come on. Anyway, two 25ish yr. old males ask me to scoot down one stool so they can sit together. I comply and we strike up a conversation. These boys are deeee-runk. How a good bartender deals with a drunk that wants more, "Drink this water first, we'll see how that goes." How this bartender did it, "I'm sorry, you're both cut off." First guy tries to plead his case. Second guy storms out, stumbles down the stairs, staggers into the street and gets hit by a car. I'm sure he went limp and didn't get too hurt but he did get a ride in the red box with the flashing lights.

1 comment:

alaskapowder said...

Did you say Rush was playing in the background? If I got hit by a car while being drunk I sure as hell hope that Rush was playing in the background! 2112 Brother.

Congrats on the Privates license. Your killing it.