Saturday, July 10, 2010

Lightly inspired

I had a beer with my friend Heather the other night. She had wine, see there isn't any gluten in wine. Killer bees attacked her last summer and she swelled up like a redneck's pecker at a family reunion. The swelling went down but left a case of hives (bees, hives, weird, right?) for her to remember them by.

Somehow the bee stings shook up her histamine balance and left her with the horrible, horrible condition that makes beer, bourbon, and pizza poison. Humans have been ingesting gluten since before they mastered fire. So what's with the explosion in gluten-irritated bowels?

It ain't just gluten. Some kids aren't allowed to go to ball games cuz the dust on the peanuts that people at the ballpark are eating may be breathed by the kids, resulting in a stressful ride to the hospital while their throats are closing.

So what is it, what changed in the human condition? Antibacterial soap? Genetic engineering? Pesticides? Governmental population control through food-based fear?

I have no idea. What I do know is that I was bouncing round the Blogosphere the other day and came across someone that had my blog listed as one that he/she followed. I have no idea who runs "Collectors Crack," but am stoked that somehow my rants and revelations have been found by a random being riding the google machine.

2 comments:

dknops said...

It's about time you wrote. Hope you are livin' the dream.
Dan Knops

cynicalbuddha said...

What I love Shane that is you have no idea who I am. Ha. It's none other than I, the great BARQ. I just moved my ass back to anchorage working for Fish and Game, actually working for Gillian Odoherty. And like the asshole that I am i've been meaning to call but have not. Been a Busy summer but should be a slow winter.

PS glad to see you writing again. I started my own rant blog not too long ago as well you can find the link at the Crack.