Thursday, January 8, 2009

Ullr why have you forsaken us?

I can't remember the last time it snowed. I do remember that it was a ten inch storm that blew away the next day. My bent skis no longer cut it. They worked fine when the snow was soft but became scary as hell once things firmed up. So I sucked it up and bought a new pair of sticks.

They'rrrrrre great! The trick is to wait to buy new gear till yours is more played out than a forty-four year old crackwhore with a bad back. Then whatever you get on will feel fun and lively.

Folks seem ready for the cold snap to end. In fact, we probably should use the word spell instead of snap cuz snap implies quick and this has been going on for weeks. People with crawl spaces in Girdwood that hadn't had their faucets on a controlled drip spent the last week underneath their houses on hands and knees in the spiderwebs and porcupine shit trying to thaw pipes.

Plumbers are as backed up as Grandpa after eating a pound of cheesecurds, "It's gonna be a week, at least." 

Speaking of plumbers, I heard that Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher, aka Joe the Plumber is headed to the Gaza Strip to interview their 'average Joes.' A couple of things come to mind when I think about that. One is what in the wide world of sports is happening to the media? The other is that he seems to be recovering better from those heady campaign days than our governor, what with her daughter's drop-out daddy losing the job she got him when it was pointed out that he didn't meet federal apprenticeship requirements, rumors still swirling about whether Trig is hers, and drop-out daddy's mommy's oxycotin arrest.

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